Eclipsed Whispers of Home

40”x30”

charcoal, pastel, Conte

This self-portrait is a candid exploration of my dual existence—straddling the tranquility of my life in Canada and the turmoil enveloping my homeland, Iran. It is a depiction of the guilt that shadows me; a reflection of the struggle to uphold the normalcy of my Canadian responsibilities while my heart remains entwined with those fighting for freedom in Iran.

The image I present to the world is one of composure, but the portrait reveals the true turmoil beneath. My face, dissolving into streaks of paint, symbolizes the stress and worry for my friends and family, and for all Iranians whose courage in the face of danger is both humbling and harrowing.

On the left, the figure of an elderly woman embodies my inner parent, prepared with a handkerchief for my tears or perhaps to admonish me with a stern “pull yourself together.” She is the embodiment of resilience, the voice of reason, and the part of me that knows survival requires the strength to carry on despite emotional upheaval.

This piece speaks to the immigrant experience—the feeling of being torn between two worlds, of navigating the complexity of new beginnings while grappling with the helplessness that comes from watching strife from afar. It is an acknowledgment of the silent battles waged within, the ones that never surface in the everyday but are as real and as raw as any visible struggle.

Through this self-portrait, I invite viewers to understand the hidden layers of identity and the unseen sacrifices of those who must carry on living while part of them resides in a far-off, troubled land.